Following Up/Big Bash

Upon Reflection.....

  

So reflecting back on what I wrote on a grumpy downhearted Monday evening about something which really bothered me big time, on a breezy Friday arvo (with only a fortnight till the xmas break, yay) was definitely interesting. But I sure as hell stand by what I said. and it sure as hell needed to be said. Some people just really need a good, hard look at themselves sometimes. That night was something that meant a lot to me, & getting it out there off my chest was a good way of properly moving on from it. If it causes a few frowns out there, so be it. I'm not going to sugarcoat everything I say on here - this is simply me speaking from the heart. And theres plenty, PLENTY of bad stuff in there as well as good.
I have had one or two persons reach out & communicate this week re my last post, & to them I do thank you. Particularly the one person who knew me the best during my time at Dimmeys, at least she has kept in touch & was kind enough to get back to me & say sorry. I  knew she would struggle to make it - becoming a Mum a short time before this would be a daunting task!
 It doesn't dilute how crap & worthless I felt that night, but we are just 3 weeks off 2013, that was in 2011. The past is in the past. We gotta keep looking forward, right? I'm certainly no Saint myself, I'm guilty too of not keeping in touch with some old friends.
 So lets move on....

Big Bash

 To quote of bit of Billy Birmingham (aka the 12th Man) when its summer, in Australia, if you don't like Cricket that's a real bummer that cause cricket is the number 1 game in town! Yo!! :)  And while to me the footy it still streets ahead, Cricket has its rightful place in my sports calendar at this time of the year. Its as traditional as a beer & a BBQ over the summer months!
While I'm a traditionalist at heart, & therefore enjoy Test Cricket, the rise of 20-20 can't be denied, & it certainly has its place. I challenge anyone to recall a memorial 20-20 game a month or 2 on, where as most cricket fans could quote a good dozen quality or spectacular Test matches off the top of their head going back decades! Even the good old one dayers (50 overs) a good few stick in  the mind from days & eras gone by.
But for a hit & giggle, & for 3 hours of entertainment, I don't mind me some 20-20. Could do without the fireworks & cheerleaders - just makes the game feel even more artificial, but then I know Cricket needs to cater to a younger audience this old stiffs & traditionalists like me.
Going from a State based local comp to a city based one has certainly taken a lot of real passion in who really wins out of it for me. Being a proud Victorian through & through, it very easy to get behind them in the longer forms of the domestic game, & in the earlier 20-20 days - you generally just barrack for your state. So now its the Melbourne Stars, & the Melbourne Renegades. Doesn't inspire a lot of passion for me, either team. Its a pity the Geelong bid for a fanchise didn't get up -that would have made picking ateam very easy. Alas, mainly becasue our stadium didn't have lights, we got turned down. pity cooky, we were just a few years too late with lights for K.Park!! Ahh well, if they ever expand the Big Bash Comp, you reckon Geelong would be favourite to gain a berth.
 Last year I generally followed the Renegades - seeing as they were a little less high profile, sorta seen as the underdogs. Also, I'm a big fan of Brad Hodge - its absolutely criminal he didn't play more cricket for Australia! So the Renegades it was.They had a fairly average season, finished 7th I think.
It was a fairly entertaining season, & I attended the vast majority of the games both the Renegades & the Stars played at home. but thinking back to last year, nothing really jumps out at me as a really amazing match. Only remember the Melb derby sadly being rained out.
This year, Hodge has jumped across town, & is playing for the Stars (based at the MCG, where the Renegades are based at Etihad Stadium). and so I've jumped ship too to the Stars, mainly cause of Hodge, & the MCG home ground effect - it is the best stadium in the world - where else would you rather watch cricket? Anyway, I thought what the hell & bought a Stars membership the other day - based more upon better value for money, better seating & saving the ques to buy a ticket on game evening rather than real loyalty. I know, changing team loyalties is something I detest, but them this really doesn't count, does it? Especially as this is just the 2nd years of these teams' existence! :)
So the first game is tonight, the first Melbourne derby (they have scheduled 2 derbies this season I think) but its at Etiahd, so the Renegades home match. Another reason I got a membership this time is that you get entry to this game as well. So for what works out to be around $20, a Level 1 prime seat to see the likes of Warnie, Murrili, Hodge, Hussey, Samuels, & Finch to name a few in action is pretty good value I think!! Lets hope for a good game, looks like it will be a nice evening weather wise for it.
While it sure as hell doesn't beat the footy, or an exciting Day 1 of the Boxing Day or New Years Test match, it certainly entices a good, entertaining evening. So long they don't overdo the ground announcing, or fireworks, or other side attractions - let the entertaining cricket be the forefront, says I!! :)

Go Stars!!

 

Real Friends v Work Colleagues

Alright, time to get a bit snarky tonight. Wanted to do this on the weekend, but the only night I felt really ranty was on Friday night, when I was out at a concert. Yes I admit to going to see Rick Astley Fri night, so sue me! ;) You should have an understanding of my love of 80's music by now! Actually, I was planning to go to a gig Sat night too, Monsters Of Rock - featuring Bon Jovi, KISS, Guns n Roses & AC/DC tribute bands. But seeing I didn't home till 1.30 Sat morning, rather shaken after a VERY scary drive home in those storms (but spectacular with all that lightning too - ahh Mother Nature) then felt productive when i got up, & organised some Xmas stuff, including getting a present for the Kmart Wishing Tree Appeal - something I remember to do every year - so come early arvo, I was beat! Add in it was totally 80's on Music Max all weekend, including the option to choose from 4 different styles of 80's on Party Max that night, I ended up vegging on the couch for the rest of the day. Sunday was fairly similar after going out for a breakfast & a walk - I guess after a busy few weekends where I wasn't home much, it was good to have a relative quiet one.
Anyway, I've been distracted, onto my main point tonight.....

Making A Differentiation Between Friends/Work Colleagues

What really defines a real friend, as supposed to, say people we work with on a regular basis & get to know pretty well? 

I  guess I've always held proper true friends as very important people, maybe that's part of my problem. Its the way I've always been - unlike my father, I work to live. Along with my family, my friends mean the world to me. My best mate has been my best mate for all of 31+ years - we've been best mates since shortly after I moved to Geelong when I was 5, & have been through pretty much everything together. If I had to ring him at 3.30am on a Tuesday morning, I'd know he'd understand. 

So needless to say I put a lot of trust in friendships. Trust is a key word here I think. I've also always been a quiet, private, non-talkative person. I guess for a lot of my life I've lacked self-confidence & that's affected my social skills. So, in stark contrast to my best mate, who is the kind of guy who could walk up to a female stranger he fancied in the street, & 10 minutes later he'd have her phone number, (just through sheer charisma, not through being sleazy or anything), I only had a few circles of friends. Mainly through primary/high school, & a few sports I played in my latter years in high school & post education.  Around people i don't know I've never been much chop alas. And if the situation involves females, especially good-looking ladies I'm even worse. Seriously, the brain just goes blank & I have no idea what to say or how to act.

So when I entered the workforce, this obviously presented the chance to interact with a whole new group of people, including girls. Now I'm not one to pump my own tyres up or anything, but I do like to pride myself on being a friendly, considerate & easy to get along with person. So once I settled in at the company I worked for, I found i got along with everyone really well. In particular, the guys I worked directly with I would consider my friends. Back in those days, on a Friday night we'd head down to the pub & have a few beers, egos were left at the door, & whether you were a manager, director, causal worker & a cleaner, we'd have a laugh or get along great over a frothy. 

Alas, times were a changing, & the company was going through some.. unfortunate..... changes. It resulted in a large staff turnover, & re-location of others.  In days pre Facebook/twitter, & in the early days of email & mobiles (both of which I was slow on the uptake of) it was easy to lose touch with co-workers. Sadly, bar 1 or 2, I have lost touch with the majority of people I worked with in those early days.

I should take to take this to the point of my issue here. I worked my way up in the company to an accounts role at Head Office, after spending a few years in our distribution centre, located in the same building. So I now was familiar & got along with a whole new group of people. It was in this stretch of time I made what I thought was a lot of friends. Especially with a number of girls, who worked in our buying office., which was/still is rare territory for someone like me. When we're exchanging email/mobile numbers, & of course adding on facebook & myspace (this was 2007-2008) I honestly felt like I'd really made a good group of friends. Which was good, cause as happens over the years, you gradually lose touch with old friends from high school days. Particularly as I was one of increasingly small group where were still single. Many of my old friends were now married/engaged/in a long term relationship, often with kids. They had their own families now. 

We still had a fair turnover of staff - I might as well name the company, they've been in the news - Dimmeys. Stay tuned for a major, & i mean MAJOR post on them sometime down the track. And no matter who it was, if I knew them, I always made an appearance at his/her farewell. Being based at Head Office, you talked to plenty of people on the phone, & there still a few in the system from when I first started, so I knew plenty of people. 

Also, often I'd go out for lunch with said (so-called) friends. If someone had a birthday, we'd occasionally go out for a drink or 2. Normal things that friends would do?  Eventually, a couple of the girls tied the know with their partners. I went along to a couple of weddings, was really wrapt for them. And after several left Dimmeys to move on with their careers, they'd still keep in touch via email& Facebook. 

I guess there was no real definite point where I noticed that things were changing. People left, others came in, & I made friends with a few of these guys too. 

But things in the place were pretty glum. It really wasn't a nice place to work for the last few years I was there. After my long service in 2008, I was going to think about looking elsewhere myself. But for one reason or another, it wasn't really until after my 2nd o/s trip in early 2011 where I finally resolved to move on. By now there were only a few people who i really close with left. Most had moved on. OK, we didn't get to catch up very often any more. They were leading their own lives, I realised that. New work friends, new challenges, etc.

But when the time finally arrived for me to move on, I was sure I could count on my old friends from work to turn up for a send off for me. I attended every single one of theirs. I even gave up movies I'd booked to go & see to make it one farewell. I was just planning on going for drinks & maybe a bite to eat a the Pub at Crown for my send off - a friendly, down to earth place centrally located, a place we'd had several farewells before. I put the word out through Facebook several times, to give my old friends(?) plenty of notice. Was hoping for a good turnout from current colleagues too. Although I wasn't hugely close to many that were still there, I had worked with many for years & years, & got along well with them. There were still a few people down n the distro centre who were probably more saddened to see me leave than some in the office, who said they'd try & come along. Thought I could count of some of them popping down, even if it was just for a quick drink. It was Friday night, I know people may have had other stuff to move onto, even if I gave 2 or 3 weeks notice. For me, it was an occasion to look back on good times/bad times & share a good night with people who had meant a lot to me over the years. Maybe even 1 or 2 of the bosses might stick their head in, it had been customary in the past, though not in more recent times.

All in all, I had been with the company for just over 14 years. I'd worked with maybe hundreds of people over the course of those 14 years?

Three people turned up.

Three.

Yes, I said 3 people could bother to come down & say goodbye. In the off chance you're reading this Darren, Justin & Brendan, thanks - appreciated it. Also thanks Rob who contacted me the following week apologising for not being able to make it.  

The rest of you - well, thanks goes to you guys too I guess. Thanks for waking me up to the fact that people you work with really aren't there for you when it counts. Thanks for clarifying the line between proper friends & people who you work with. Maybe that was my fault for blurring that line. Thanks to those people who have never bothered to even see how I'm going in the new job or how I'm going in general. 

To say that night was the biggest kick in the guts just about ever would be an understatement. I still have a couple of people from the Dimmeys era I still call friends - my closest female friend, for instance, had moved back to Turkey a few years prior. (She just arrived back in the country last Thursday - can't wait to catch up with her!) & maybe 1 or 2 others, but essentially I've learned my lesson. When push comes to shove, when shit gets you down, when you really need someone to call on - make it a true friend you know inside out, not a person you work with who many seem like someone you can trust on the surface.

It was a tough lesson to learn, & its sadly had some affect in my new job I have to say. I'm a lot more reluctant to open up to others I work with, despite the new workplace being a lot better than Dimmeys was., & the people I work with being very nice people in general. Only the 3 or 4 guys I work alongside in accounts at the new job have I really opened to. Even then, its hard at times, & I often keep quiet even if its something like footy being discussed round the water cooler. 

I don't know, maybe I'm being harsh & unreasonable. Maybe I'm overplaying the effect of one single evening. But on a night which meant a lot me, a lot of so-called "friends" let me down, & have never really explained themselves or bothered to reach out in the year thats since gone by. One or two have, & we've maintained some sort of contact I suppose.  Largely I've moved on from this, though that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt like hell.

Just to end this post on a positive note - any girls reading this, never fear! Those days of my best mate chatting up the chicks on the street are long gone - he is a happily married man with 2 beautiful daughters nowadays! :)